I am not a religious man nor am I superstitious (which I guess, are synonymous in many ways), but Tim Tebow is very outspoken about his beliefs, and a good portion of America is in love with him because of that. Being a Denver Broncos fan for many years, I’m very excited to see them win games, and possibly a quarterback that they can build a team around. This is not a serious post, but more of a mockery of the media and their portrayal of Tebow winning games, so don’t put me in the loony bin.

There are a number of people that believe that Tim Tebow is some sign for their Christian religion, or that he is actually the second coming of Christ. Denver’s win over Pittsburgh also had an interesting collection of statistics which consisted of the numbers, 3, 1 and 6.

Tim Tebow threw for 316 yards.

Tebow had 31.6 yards per completion (note that he had 10 completions, in reality these two are related).

There was apparently a Neilson rating of 31.6.

The only interception in the game happened when the Steelers were 3rd and 16.

Pittsburgh’s total time of possession was 31 minutes and 6 seconds.

Tim used to write John 3:16 on his eyeblack.

To Tim Tebow (as well as redneck entertainer, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin), these numbers represent the script supposedly written by some ancient tribal man, named John, in the bible verse John 3:16:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”

Now, I don’t have to outline the coincidences there, they are pretty clear cut. There are many religious folk who love to look at numbers and think they are a sign of the great wizard up top telling them something (ie., the world is ending December 21st, 2012 this year). I’m not discussing religion here, but here’s a tasty nugget to chew on:

If people want to look at heavenly signs and Tim Tebow, let’s consider the fact that Tim is a left-handed quarterback. It’s been noted that historically, left-handed people are associated with evil and with the devil (they have been said to be servants of the devil). The devil is also portrayed as being left handed in many images. Read any Christian scripture and note the use of right-handedness and the favourableness associated with it. Here are some interesting myths about left-handedness:

http://www.anythinglefthanded.co.uk/lh-info/myths.html

I don’t really believe any of this, but if people want to look at “signs”, this is as likely as the 316 numbers having any meaning.

(Pictured above: Tim Tebow talking down to his home of hell, or what is now known as the inhospitable core of the earth)

With this “information” it is pretty obvious that Tim Tebow is actually the devil. If you take his name:

TIM TEBOW

It is actually an anagram of:

WITE TOMB

Which roughly translates to “White Tomb”, which would imply the death of all that is good (using the classic association of good with white). This is just more proof that Mr. Tebow is the devil. The devil is often portrayed as some great deceiver, which is exactly what Tebow does. Not only does he deceive you when he plays good (or bad, or whatever he does that week), but he deceives everyone when he pretends to be a good citizen. Tim Tebow will be the end of humanity, he is the devil!

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